Social skills are very important asset a person should possess for success. Read this detailed ultimate guide to social skills, the art of talking to anyone.
With this emerging era of technologies and internet, people from all over the world are able to connect to anyone and anywhere they wish. Social media is connecting people worldwide and now there are no limits to it. Be it a village or an urbanized city, people are now capable of reaching to almost anyone present on this entire planet.
We people have created a great rapport with the virtual world yet most of us have failed miserably to communicate socially. We get extremely anxious and nervous when it comes to taking to people that are standing just in front of us!
Isn’t this feeling miserable of you being able to chat with people living at the edge of the world but just don’t have enough confidence to be a good communicator in the real world? I am sure you will never ever wish to get into such a situation!
Just in any case if you have ever been stuck in such a situation you must have definitely felt awkward and wished of getting out of the room, meeting,assembly,group,whatever it was!
Feeling awkward while encountering new people is of course obvious and is a human instinct. But overcoming this awkwardness and hesitation is where the entire strength of any humans lies. Humans are social animals. This is something which has made us stand out among all other species on the planet.
The Ultimate Guide To Social Skills : The Art of Talking To Anyone
There are lot of intellects and professionals in the industry who had to face a lot of embarrassment just because they could not present their view or their point in a better way. An effective talk mesmerizes the person in front of you and creates an awesome aura that never fails to spread some great positive vibes. That’s how important is the Art of Talking.
We all have been endowed with a special tool called communication .The more you use it the better it will get. It is a high potency tool which when not used becomes futile.
When I began thinking about this write-up topic, my mind flew by my past self. I remember how shy and timid I was just around 4-5 years back. I just could not talk to people or even answer simple questions in class. Each time anyone approached me for a conversation be it my teacher or a relative, I would shiver and my mouth just couldn’t utter any word. My mom would observe me being so anxious about communicating with others and made a so called “Communicators’ Guide” just for me. Each day she taught me a thing or two that helped me being a better communicator. Today, I would love to share the secrets to better social communication!
You’d ask, “What is the procedure for this entire guide?” There is one that’ll help you in many ways in your entire life. Should we begin?
I agree that most of us feel very strange when we approach someone for a random talk. It turns out to be so uncomfortable! To avoid the discomfort or such feeling of strangeness in beginning a conversation with people out of nowhere, we can use a lot of greetings. With N numbers of greetings at our side we can break the ice with a very simple good morning or a hello. You don’t always need any rocket science to initiate any talk! Just simple greetings will do the maximum work!
Enjoy you own company!
Exactly! It might sound crazy now but it works. If you cannot enjoy your own company then there is just no chance of others enjoying your company. We should be trying to be better version of ourselves, right? Learn what you would expect about a person while he is striking a conversation with you. Mold down those expectations and try to be one of those close to perfect person. Even if you feel dejected, you should take a pen and paper and write whatever that is coming to your mind. Once the problems or the negative feelings are written out, try finding out some solutions to it.
The answers to the toughest problems lie in the simplest solutions!
Have you ever seen infants? The only way they communicate is either by smiling or by giving out a loud cry. People around them get attracted to these smiling faces even though they don’t utter a single word. Why is it so?
Yes smile! It is the foundation of better communication with people around you. Smile or these facial expressions are the key to attract almost everyone. Whenever you meet someone and are anxious about “How should I begin talking?” try this simple trick.
Give a welcoming smile and greet the person. This clears the air and makes the other person feel comfortable. On a side note, do not keep smiling wide through your entire conversation. That’ll make the other person feel that you are an idiot!
Maintaining your posture
Whenever we go to some public place we come across a hell lot of people with different body language. A posture or simple a body language can be regarded as a language without a dictionary and is interpreted in a unique way by every human being.
Your posture convinces your audience to listen and talk to you or else they’ll choose someone else. Follow this simple hack. Whenever you are preparing for a meeting or any conversation, try talking to yourself in front of the mirror.
Analyze the way you stand, walk and dress. If you feel uncomfortable with a particular posture, same would be the feeling of the person on the either side.Being calm and composed attracts a lot of attention! Have you ever felt like approaching a person who is tensed and leaning?
Making an eye contact is very important to develop trust between 2 people but make sure you do not make the person nervous by your glance or instead start staring right into their eyes. Keep moving your eyes confirming that you are not staring. Staring is unusual and weird. It will make the person feel extremely uncomfortable.
Making it happen!
It is often said “Do what you fear the most” and no doubt awkwardness, anxiousness and nervousness are the walls that stand tall in between us and communication. All that needs to be done is to break these walls and build bridges. Begin with talking to your loved ones and most importantly yourself.
Trust me, by initiating such conversations a lot of confidence will be pumped into you. Take the effort of breaking the ice with yourself. Once you get comfortable with yourself you’ll know your flaws and that would be the ripe time to improve and work on them!
I know this process might take some extra time but once it happens you’ll be the center of attraction for anyone!
Once a few smiles and greetings are exchanged, you need not panic too much about the topic to discuss. There are a lot of times when I have encountered this situation where I just didn’t know what topic I should begin talking with. I always felt that what if the person didn’t like the topic I am talking about? That would ruin everything right?
Better I began listening to the person first. If he talked about cricket, I would also very passionately tell him about the game that I watched last time. You need to understand that if 2 people have the same liking or a similar view about a certain topic, the chances of getting together increase a lot.
If that doesn’t happen you can bring up a recent event.
Avoid using some difficult words while you talk. The person needs to understand what you are talking about. He/she won’t be carrying a dictionary with them to understand what your words actually mean! Keep it simple. Very simple!
Avoid using political topics when you are having a talk with others. Also, avoid asking too many questions (even when you have many). Asking a lot of questions may turn anybody off too quickly!
You must have now understood the value of communication, right? There will be times when you’ll bump into someone, completely clueless. You should be extremely polite at these times. Use clear language and almost no slangs. Do not curse or get angry on petty things when in front of someone! They’ll see you as a devil.
First impression has to be the best impression.
Be like a gentleman. Dress neatly. Apologize if anything goes wrong.
Being a listener
People think a good communication is when there is one on one conversation but the fact is “A good communication starts with good listening” It is not necessary to argue for your point every time.
Sometimes all a person needs is someone to hear them. For this we need to develop a thinking for evaluating the condition and giving response accordingly.
It is not always you who will start talking to people, sometimes people too will initiate and you will have to be conscious enough to not let the person feel dejected by your behavior
If you do not agree on some point of the listener, let him/her complete what they had to say and then you may begin with,“ Yes. I completely understand your point but what if this point of view is taken into consideration.” This little gesture of yours creates a feeling of trust with other people.
Stop using those damn phones!
This has to be one of the most important points of any guide you find on the internet! I have seen people checking their phones while other person is just going on talking. Dividing your attention towards your cellphone is extremely rude. If you are doing so you are making the other person and his thoughts feel worthless to you.
If there is a high priority call or a text, just excuse yourself politely and do your task as soon as possible. I have seen couples and friends arguing just because someone amongst them was using that phone!
Do not let the effort of the person go in vain by using “DEAD END WORDS” do not be a conversation killer by using small words or phrases like cool, nice, oh, I see, okay, etc. these words immediately ends a conversation and makes it really tricky to starts talking all over again. It is also completely disrespectful.
There may be times when the person is in a rush and won’t be able to keep up the conversation with you. It is alright! You can polite invite them for some chat over coffee. Along all those methods that were listed, one thing that prominently shines is confidence. You should feel confident about what you are talking but should avoid taking pride in it. Confidence is the key to conquering every situation in life.
These changes won’t happen in a single day. Have patience. Each time you approach someone see to it that you are observing yourselves too. Always feel free to ask people their thoughts about you and the improvements that are needed to be made. Not every feedback is a good one yet all you need to do is identify what part of the feedback needs to be taken seriously!
Each day before going to bed, reflect upon the day. Ask yourself if you were contented with the conversation that you had with others.
On a completely different note, let the rude people just move away. Try avoiding their presence or their attention. It is not compulsory that your vibes should match with each and every human being on earth! Never let anybody’s rudeness destroy your positive spirit. Instead, you may calmly leave ignoring whatever the other person has to say.
These hacks will definitely give you a confidence to at least start talking to people around as a learner. The more you will interact the better you will get in socializing and eventually learn the ART OF TALKING TO ANYONE.